What Would Wednesday Do?

Ah life—it’s complicated, powerful, beautiful, and complex. And, who else to guide us through it than the enlightened Wednesday Addams. No need to worry about any problems life might hand you with your soon-to-be favorite guide…What Would Wednesday Do?

We’re excited to embrace our inner darkness with this advice book filled with dark wisdom that will leave us both unsettled and entertained. From advice to family to relationships, Wednesday Addams is here to help! Check-out this sneak peek of our latest release, What Would Wednesday Do? !


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To the Horrible Helper,

I have moved to a new town, and I’d like to make some new friends. I’m sure you’ll tell me to join a hobby or club, but I only enjoy swimming in quicksand and there isn’t a quicksand league in my new town.

Alone in Quicksand

Dear Alone in Quicksand,

Making new friends is very simple. If you have the means to gather the necessary body parts and assemble them in time for your next lightning storm, we highly recommend making your own, brand new friend. We suggest exploring your new town’s graveyards and sourcing local materials.
In some Addams family properties, it’s suggested that the family’s butler, Lurch, was created in such a manner.

There is something to be learned from this: not everyone has good taste. Instead of wasting your time on people who have no appreciation for aesthetics, focus your efforts on finding quality friends. Do not try to force the unrefined and uncultured to be your friends. Of course, this advice is not always easy to follow. It’s been nearly sixty years and Morticia and Gomez have yet to learn this particular lesson.

This is not to say you should find only friends who share your limited interests. In Netflix’s Wednesday, for example, Wednesday finds one of her most valuable allies when she joins the beekeeping club. Though Wednesday initially has little interest in the Nevermore Hummers, she takes a chance and finds a loyal and trustworthy friend in Eugene Ottinger, a passionate psychic. Trying a new hobby isn’t always the worst idea. Sometimes it can even be quite painful, which we love. You could also start your own quicksand club, which is sure to attract the beautifully bizarre type of people you want to meet. And if you don’t like them, simply don’thelp them out of the quicksand to avoid any awkward conversation.

Always your friend,
Horrible Helping Hummer
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Dear Double Braids,

My husband continuously grinds his teeth throughout the night, keeping me awake. When I shared this concern, hetold me, “That sounds like your problem,” and suggested I sleep on the couch. What can I do?

Still Awake,

Dear Still Awake,

Buy pliers.

Double Braids
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