What Would Wednesday Do? An Advice Guide.
- Book Sample
Ah life—it’s complicated, powerful, beautiful, and complex. And, who else to guide us through it than the enlightened Wednesday Addams. No need to worry about any problems life might hand you with your soon-to-be favorite guide…What Would Wednesday Do?
We’re excited to embrace our inner darkness with this advice book filled with dark wisdom that will leave us both unsettled and entertained. From advice to family to relationships, Wednesday Addams is here to help! Check-out this sneak peek to hold you off until What Would Wednesday Do?‘s release date!
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To the Horrible Helper,
I have moved to a new town, and I’d like to make some new friends. I’m sure you’ll tell me to join a hobby or club, but I only enjoy swimming in quicksand and there isn’t a quicksand league in my new town.
Alone in Quicksand
Dear Alone in Quicksand,
Making new friends is very simple. If you have the means to gather the necessary body parts and assemble them in time for your next lightning storm, we highly recommend making your own, brand new friend. We suggest exploring your new town’s graveyards and sourcing local materials.
In some Addams family properties, it’s suggested that the family’s butler, Lurch, was created in such a manner.
However, it can be a tedious wait for the perfect lightning storm. Let’s take a look and see how Wednesday has made new friends in various episodes of The Addams Family and beyond. In the original television show, there are many episodes in which the family generously welcomes a neighbor into their wonderful home to delight in train crashes or their pet lion, Kitty Kat, only to have the prospective new friend run screaming out the door. Even when the Addamses attempt to help their neighbors by giving their drab home a beautifully gothic makeover, the neighbors are appalled.
There is something to be learned from this: not everyone has good taste. Instead of wasting your time on people who have no appreciation for aesthetics, focus your efforts on finding quality friends. Do not try to force the unrefined and uncultured to be your friends. Of course, this advice is not always easy to follow. It’s been nearly sixty years and Morticia and Gomez have yet to learn this particular lesson.
This is not to say you should find only friends who share your limited interests. In Netflix’s Wednesday, for example, Wednesday finds one of her most valuable allies when she joins the beekeeping club. Though Wednesday initially has little interest in the Nevermore Hummers, she takes a chance and finds a loyal and trustworthy friend in Eugene Ottinger, a passionate psychic. Trying a new hobby isn’t always the worst idea. Sometimes it can even be quite painful, which we love. You could also start your own quicksand club, which is sure to attract the beautifully bizarre type of people you want to meet. And if you don’t like them, simply don’thelp them out of the quicksand to avoid any awkward conversation.
Always your friend,
Horrible Helping Hummer
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Step into the eerie world of Wednesday with this book filled with unofficial advice and cryptic counsel for navigating the peculiarities of everyday existence. Written by a Wednesday expert and in an appropriately sinister style, this captivating and delightfully morbid book is your guide through the shadows of life. From relationships goneLearn more